Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The American Teenager?

Seen in line for Lollapalooza at about 3 p.m., August 3rd, 2013

"I don't care what anyone says--I'm 21 today!" She thrusts her fist unsteadily into the air, proudly displaying the false proof of her age, a light blue plastic Bud Light wristband. She chatters on to the boy she's going with. She thinks he likes her for her personality; in reality he likes her because she barely has any fat on her thighs. He considers it a great tragedy that women develop fat on their thighs, but that won't be the excuse he uses in twenty years when he touches Miranda Elkins, a future student who hasn't even been born yet.

What is she going on about now?

"I mean, Asian people are so, like, inefficient. Like, maybe you lose a ton of weight because you can't pick up any food with chopsticks. But if I just want a real fucking bite of moo shu pork or whatever, I need a fucking fork!" When she thinks back on this day, she won't remember her boyfriend's name, but she will, unbelievably, remember this drunken speech. She will be grateful that nobody pulled out a cell phone, that there is no YouTube video, that no employers can see. However, she will be something less than ashamed.

I've been hopping all over the city lately--from Gena's to Molly's to Jane's. Had my last night at Delilah's before the big move yesterday. That was fun.

While scrolling through my Twitter feed today, I was glad to stumble upon this article. It seems I'm not the only one who felt overwhelmed by teenagers at Lollapalooza this year.

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