Thursday, June 13, 2013

Shannon

Seen on the Purple Line to Linden at about 8:45 a.m.

Shannon flips through her brand new copy of City Guide to Los Angeles. She learns all about Venice Beach (a hangout for the beat generation in the 50’s and 60’s), Chinatown (created by Hollywood set designers), Griffith Park (home to the original Batcave, the old, abandoned L.A. Zoo, and, of course, the Griffith Observatory). If she were a tourist, this would be well and good. But there are a few areas in which the guidebook is lacking.

The book needs to explain which level of SPF is needed to keep her pale Irish skin from burning. She needs to know how a huge city like L.A. thrives without an adequate system of public transportation. On a related note, Shannon believes there should be a chapter dedicated to the art of breathing smog. It would also be helpful to know the odds of one’s boyfriend becoming a successful (or even semi-successful) screenwriter. If there’s no chance (or virtually no chance), she could save a lot of money by just dumping him now.

Whatever happened to her sense of adventure? Maybe she simply prefers security. Maybe it’s ok to like where you live. Maybe it’s normal to fear change. Maybe it’s normal to doubt your loved ones.

Shannon snaps the book shut, angry at it now. When she gets to L.A., she’ll write her own guidebook, honest and thorough. Nobody will publish it.

I have to tell you about the most amazing thing that happened to me last night. My friend Lindsey and I went to see Russell Brand at the Chicago Theater. We were seated in the second-to-last row of the balcony, all the way up at the top. Before the show started, an announcement went over the P.A.: "TBS Just for Laughs Chicago is about to upgrade the experience of two lucky fans! The winning tickets are in the rear balcony..."

Huh. We're in the rear balcony...

"Row Q..."

We're row Q.

"Seats 301-303."

Holy shit that's us!

So this woman came and brought us down to the VERY FRONT ROW. Like, Russell Brand was basically thrusting in our faces all night. It was hilarious. Anyway, just thought I'd share. I was so excited. I've always wanted to see him do stand-up, but I never thought I'd get to be so up close and personal. 'Twas a lucky evening. 

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