Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Jeb

This is the first story from my 2nd Annual Memorial Day Weekend Challenge! I told you that if you somehow shared PTKY via social media, I’d write a story about a subject of your choosing. My good friend Pat, who I have known for many years, asked me to write a story about a solo golfer. Here it is:


These are the things Jeb thinks about on the golf course: 
  •  How he can attend his daughter’s parent-teacher meeting without his wife noticing how attractive he finds Miss Elmer to be.
  • How his swing has steadily improved over the last year.
  • How shitty it’s going to feel to go back to work tomorrow.
  • How he shouldn’t be thinking about the office at all right now. This is supposed to be his escape.
  • How he never used to be a big Fox News guy, but lately it’s been making a lot of sense. This country is going downhill, and Barack Hussein Obama certainly isn’t helping.
  • How golfing alone can be more pleasant than golfing with a group.
  • How he wishes he could hold as much liquor as Ed could.
  • How he’s glad he can’t hold as much liquor as Ed could, or else he might be dead, too.
  • How it’s strange that the police will let you keep a murder weapon, how it’s strange that you’ll keep using that murder weapon, just because it’s comfortable, and you’re used to it, and you don’t want to buy another one because your swing has steadily improved over the last year.
  • How it’s not murder, remember? Ed was drunk, he stepped too close.
  • How it’s messed up that a good whack to one little spot on the head can kill a guy, especially a big guy like Ed.
  • How it was an accident. Not murder.
  • How much he likes this set of clubs. This particular set.
  • How he shouldn’t be thinking about Ed. This used to be his escape.
  • How the golf course is the best place in the world.
  • How the golf course is the worst place in the world.
Hope you liked it, Pat!

My Memorial Day weekend was fun. I went to see JC Brooks & The Uptown Sound on Saturday night and Chance the Rapper on Sunday night. I also went to see The Great Gatsby (acting, music, and cinematography were all good, but Baz Luhrmann apparently thinks we're all very stupid). Yesterday my friends and I grabbed burgers at Burger Bar, went to Barnes & Noble (I bought Swamplandia! and The Marriage Plot), had a drink at Drinkingbird, and watched the movie adaptation of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Overall it was a lovely weekend. Hope yours was, too.

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