Friday, April 5, 2013

Kids These Days

Seen on the Brown Line to Kimball at about 8 p.m., April 4th, 2013

Take this one, for instance. Wearing a needlepoint skirt—or, rather, a faux needlepoint skirt: a cheap, synthetic skirt on which a needlepoint pattern has been printed, probably by a sweatshop worker in Indonesia or China or Sri Lanka. God forbid her fingers learn to do something useful like thread a needle and make a skirt. Those long, thin, hypocritical fingers, as comfortable holding a cigarette as they are wrapped around the handle of a stationary bike. Instead of turning the pages of a book, those fingers throw back a shot of whiskey (or tequila or vodka—whatever is available). Instead of modeling a diamond engagement ring, those fingers squeeze an undeserving stranger’s cock.

Kids these days ought to have their fingers broken one by one. Maybe then they’ll learn to appreciate all that they have, and all that they could do.

Man I write some weird stories. I like this one, though. Tonight I'm going to see Smith Westerns at Schubas. Exciting stuff. Hope you all have a good weekend! 

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