Monday, April 22, 2013


Seen waiting for the Metra train to Chicago at about 8 a.m.

Between apathy and misery lies Janelle, dissatisfied with her life but too lazy to do anything about it. Shadowy gray even in the sunshine, she shuffles along the platform, waiting for the train to take her to work. Does it occur to her that she’s too smart for retail? Does it occur to her that there are thousands of trains and millions of stops?

When she was little, Janelle wanted to be a marine biologist. She wanted to save the manatees and the whales and the coral reefs. Look how far from the ocean she has strayed! Dry land as far as the eye can see. Every day she takes the same monotonous, unfulfilling route. It is almost as though she believes in fate, but that’s impossible; Janelle doesn’t believe in anything.

I had a horrible panic attack last night. One of the worst I've ever had. I couldn't stop shaking. I have to do some yoga today or something. I need to stretch and relax. Anxiety problems suck. On the bright side, I did get to see my little puppies over the weekend, so that made me very happy.

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