Friday, March 15, 2013

Viola & Rex

Seen on the Brown Line to the Loop at about 10:30 p.m., March 14th, 2013

They met in a Walgreens bathroom. Rex was trying to wash his beard in the sink, and Viola was rinsing a shirt in the toilet bowl. No matter how many times Rex waved his hands in front of the automatic faucet, it wouldn't turn on. "It's because you have no soul," Viola told him. "You wanna stay with me?" asked Rex.

The next day they started panhandling for their marriage license. Viola sang songs, mostly The Ramones. Rex held out a crumpled McDonald's cup and a sign: "WE ARE IN LOVE. HELP US TIE THE NOT!" So many hopeless romantics contributed that the affianced were able to head to the courthouse within the month. Don't ever let anyone tell you that the world isn't full of hopeless romantics.

Now Rex and Viola behave like any other elderly couple, reading the newspaper, passing sections back and forth. Only instead of plump armchairs in front of a fireplace, they sit on cold plastic train seats. Instead of a dresser, they carry their belongings in plastic bags. Instead of a marriage bed, they have a park bench. Don't ever let anyone tell you they're homeless.

Once I was in a bathroom and a girl told me I had no soul because the sink wouldn't turn on. I thought it was a great line. 

Guess where I'm going on Sunday? Sing it, Elvis


  1. That IS a great line! Holy cow. I might have to steal it.

    1. I think not! It's mine, bitch. ;) <3

    2. Too late, I'm totally stealing it. I've already stolen it! It's in my brain! MUAHAHAHA


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