Thursday, March 7, 2013

Heidi

Seen on the Red Line to Howard at about 8 a.m.

To my man:

L is for the way you loom over me. Lots of people would probably find it creepy, but I know it’s mostly because I’m so short, and it makes me feel like someone’s always got my back. Like I’m always protected. Speaking—or I guess writing—of being protected…

O is for your overprotectiveness. You don’t do it in a douchey way or anything. I think it’s cute how you always meet me at the bus stop when I come over to your place, like Logan Square is the most dangerous place on earth. Or like how you don’t want me to go running with my headphones in. It’s pretty adorable how you always treat me like something precious.

V is for your voracious appetite in the bedroom. I had to look that word up in the dictionary to make sure it meant what I thought it meant. I thought starting this line with “very” and then some other trait would be too easy. Anyway, I bet you’re blushing now. Don’t be embarrassed! You know it’s true, and I definitely want you to keep it that way. Actually, you’re voracious about a lot of things, which is wonderful. Passion is good.

E is for everything, because you mean everything to me. Sorry if that’s a little sappy. E could also be for: “Even though this letter is a total rip off of that old song they play in chick flicks all the time, I hope you like it.” Or it could have been “Experience,” and I could have cracked a joke about how much older you are than me, so you should be grateful that I’m nice. Or it could have been “Essential,” but that sounds kind of weird, like I’m totally dependent on you or that I’d die without you. I suppose saying that you mean everything could imply the same thing, but…I don’t know. It sounds sweeter. And a love letter should be sweet. I hope this one is.

I decided that too many of my stories have been depressing and/or weather-related lately, so I decided to do a love story today, in honor of the fact that my cousin is getting married this weekend. Congrats, Kevin! 

In other news, Leta just started a new semi-autobiographical webcomic called HA HA WHAT NO WAY. The first comic is about our conversations when we Skype, and I can assure you that it's 100% accurate. I can also assure you that my depiction as a greenish-blue triangle with gogo boots and antlers is 100% accurate in my soul. Check it out!

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