Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Bradley

Seen on the Purple Line to Linden at about 8:45 a.m.

TANTALIZING TIP #1: TOUCHING IS TOPS!
If you’re ever going to win over the girl of your dreams, you have to let her know that you’re interested! One of the easiest ways to accomplish this is by touching her while you talk. A hand lightly placed on her arm or shoulder is all that it takes to make her feel special.

***

They were at Guthrie’s, and things were going well. She was kicking his ass at Scrabble. At one point she got a whopping 83 points for playing the word JANITORS—lots of triple word and triple letter scores. Bradley wanted to convey how impressed he was (and he really was impressed), so he decided to employ TANTALIZING TIP #1. He wrapped his fingers around her delicate forearm—

The pain was excruciating. Her arm was warm, so warm, on fire. The fine blonde hairs dusted across her skin were like hot metal coils searing Bradley’s palm. And he could feel something moving around in there, something bubbling or rolling, something rushing, and he couldn’t tell if it was lust or love or power or anger or fear. It may not have been any of those things, it may have been nothing at all, but it terrified Bradley nonetheless.

After a split second he jerked his hand away as though he’d rested it on a burning stove, upsetting the Scrabble pieces in the process. She excused herself—“I have to run to the bathroom”—and she didn’t come back. Bradley felt that the TANTALIZING TIPS should have warned him about that. They should have mentioned it, at least. A simple asterisk and a footnote would have done the job. He decided to write to the editors.

Fun with fonts. Tonight I'm going to The Goodman with Meg because we are classy ladies. Look out, world. I'm wearing heels and everything.

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