Monday, June 25, 2012

Bill & Nik

Seen waiting for the Brown Line to Kimball at about 8:30 a.m. 

“Daddy, Mrs. Morris says I spell my name weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mrs. Morris says that usually people spell it N-I-C-K and that N-I-K is weird.”

“Mrs. Morris is an idiot.”

“Mrs. Morris says that calling people names is mean, Daddy.”

“She’s right. But your name isn’t weird at all. We named you after one of the greatest scientists and inventors of all time, Nikola Tesla. Remember last year, when I took you to the Griffith Observatory in L.A., and we saw that room full of lightning? That was a tesla coil; he invented it.”

“Yeah, I remember. But we don’t learn about him in school. Why didn’t you name me after the scientists we learn about in school?”

“And what scientists are those?”

“Um…I dunno. Like that guy who went to those islands, and he figured out that people come from monkeys.”

“Do you mean Charles Darwin?”

“Yeah! Him.”

“Okay, first of all, it sounds like you should pay a little more attention in class. Second, Charles is an ugly name. Nikola is a badass name.”

“Oh! I thought of another one. What about the lightbulb guy? Thomas Edison.”

“Nik, please don’t speak that awful name in front of me again. Thomas Edison was a horrible man who was threatened by Nikola Tesla’s genius and did everything he could to ruin his life. Thomas Edison was an asshole.”

“Dad! Name calling is mean!”

“Normally I’d agree with you, but Edison totally deserves it.”

“Mommy named her new cat Edison.”

“She would do that.”

“Can we get a cat?”

“I hate cats.”

“Did you and Mommy get divorced because you hate cats and she likes cats?”


“Did you and Mommy get divorced because she likes Thomas Edison and you hate him?”

“No, but in retrospect that’s a pretty good reason. Don’t tell her I said that.” 

Oh man. I <3 Nikola Tesla. I don't know why I decided to name this kid after him. I just saw this cute little boy with big glasses and his cute dad with big glasses and I thought to myself, "SCIENCE!" Anyway, here are my favorite Tesla-related links on the internet: this Hark! A Vagrant comic, this Hark! a Vagrant comic, The Oatmeal's "Why Nikola Tesla was the Greatest Geek Who Ever Lived," and finally, Drunk History vol. 6, featuring John C. Reilly as Tesla and Crispin Glover as Edison. Tesla is the electric Jesus.

This weekend was really fun and crazy. My friend Catherine from high school came to visit, and we did many things. Friday night was Improv Shakespeare, then Delilah's, and then we ran into this late-night drunken jam session playing Stray Cats on the way home. Turns out I knew one of the drunken musicians, but I had not seen him for many years. So the next night we went back to Delilah's with a bunch of other people, and he came, too. Then we had a party on my deck until 3 a.m. Yesterday was the Pride parade; I got sunburned, and I received many beads, and I went dancing to Lady Gaga with my friends at 6 p.m. A busy and fun weekend.

Tonight my sister's band Bittersweet Drive is playing the Elbo Room. Be there, people. 

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