Friday, April 13, 2012

Irma; Queen of the Red Line (Guest Post!)

Irma: Seen on the Brown Line to the Loop at about 10:20 p.m., April 12th, 2012

The people who got on the train looked at her, all bundled up with her heavy bag looped around the handles of her walker, and they pitied her. Well, Irma didn't want their pity. If this scarf weren't covering her chapped mouth, she'd spit at them. Fact was, she didn't have to take the train. Her prying daughter, Pauline, hired a driver for her, but she didn't trust him. He was an Arab, and he talked funny, and he smelled. When she was a girl there was nobody like that over here. Irma had cussed him out, dismissed him. Pauline tried to fight her on it, but she certainly wasn't going to let her own daughter make decisions for her. Whatever happened to respecting your elders?

Irma didn't think the other people on the train were particularly trustworthy, either. There were two French girls--what a filthy people! Apparently the passengers were stupid, too. So many young girls out alone at night. Irma was allowed to be alone; she was old, and used to it. The train had one small advantage over that ridiculous driver: you could always trust that the train was going to go where it was supposed to. Same stops, back and forth, every day.


And now, a guest story from my friend Felipe! He says: "This was based on an encounter with a woman during my morning commute who was clearly drugged up beyond all recognition. She declared herself our sovereign queen and proceeded to rave about Communists, Nazis, Queen Elizabeth I, the French, homosexuals, and Jews, among other topics."


Queen of the Red Line: Seen on the Red Line to 95th between 8 & 9 a.m., April 13th, 2012

I am your sovereign queen, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, Ireland, the British Dominions beyond the Seas, Defender of the Faith and Purveyor of the Chicago Transit Authority Red Line. War is coming, my Red Line brethren, for I have seen beyond the Great Platform and found there a great and wondrous expanse know (or so my spies tell me) as the Brown Line, a place free of pollution and the corruption that threatens to corrode this once great transportative vehicle.

True, the denizens of this Great Line are at once most foul and unclean, but by the Holy Hand of the Archangel Michael, and all the saints, we shall vanquish and take that which belongs rightfully to us, your sovereign queen. Let the doors be torn asunder, and our Holy War begin.


Yay! Guest stories are fun. Haven't had one since last year when I was visiting Leta in Denver. In other news, I'm going to C2E2 this weekend! So I suspect you can expect some stories from there next week...

1 comment:

  1. Will the doors be torn asunder on the left at Belmont

    ReplyDelete

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