Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Willard; Mona & Alistair

I'm back from Los Angeles, and so is PTKY! Here are two stories about some people I saw during my vacation.

Willard: Seen in the Hollywood Hills at about 1 p.m., March 16th, 2012 

They always slow down in their convertibles, their wasteful SUVs, their self-righteous hybrids. They always slow down and glare at me. They slow down enough to see the food and grease stuck in my scraggly beard, the holes in my t-shirt, the rust on my junk car that I’m washing. Their eyes are yellow with disgust. They can’t believe the audacity of someone like me living so high in the hills, so close to the Hollywood sign, that icon of glamor and expensive real estate. They speed away from me, an eyesore, a blight. They make me laugh.

Mona & Alistair: Seen at Zankou Chicken at about 2 p.m., March 17th, 2012 

Mona & Alistair both think they’ve done pretty well. Mona likes Alistair because he’s English and she enjoys listening to his accent. It makes up for the fact that he talks too much, especially about how he’s a vegan except that he eats fish. Alistair likes Mona because she always laughs at his bad jokes. It makes up for the fact that she tries to look younger than she is by wearing cheap juniors’ department clothing. As they dip their pita into Zankou’s world famous garlic sauce, neither of them worry about bad breath. They both enjoy being able to taste the meals they’ve shared on each other’s tongues when they kiss. 

Anyway, I had a really good time in L.A. Some of what I did, in no specific order: old L.A. Zoo (abandoned cages to crawl through!), Museum of Jurassic Technology (lots of really weird stuff!), Griffith Observatory (Tesla coil!), The Edison (amazing fancy nightclub that should really be called The Tesla because everyone knows Tesla was better!), The Impov Space (improv comedy almost as good as in Chicago), Watts Towers (Italian immigrant built crazy towers out of junk that are, much to the dismay of local residents, extremely structurally sound!), karaoke at Brass Monkey (super fun divey bar where celebrities sometimes go but I didn't see any!), Sprinkles cupcake ATM (exactly what it sounds like!). I did many other things as well. Now, back to work. And I'm going to see Megafaun tonight! So busy all the time. In a good way.

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