Sunday, October 23, 2011


Seen on the Brown Line to the Loop at about 2:00 p.m., October 22nd, 2011

I don't know whether to think of myself as more of an artist or a hero. My job really requires me to be both. So many people do it themselves, all lazy and sloppy. But if they want it done right, they hire me. I have always had an eye for color, especially drab neutrals. I always select paint that perfectly matches the wall. After I'm through with a building, you'd never know that it had been covered in ridiculous names and phrases scrawled in neon bubble letters. I always use as many coats as it takes to cover the trash completely, and I NEVER leave haphazard paint roller marks like you see on so many buildings. I think that's almost worse than the graffiti itself.

I hate people who call it "street art." I hate the people who get famous doing it, like Banksy and Shepard Fairey. If you want to be an artist, spend your money on a freaking canvas. This country was built on private property, and I'm here to help preserve that institution. Not only that, but I protect the people of this city from profanity and lewdness and gang activity. If I could, I would prowl the streets at night, catch taggers red-handed, and put them in their place. Since such vigilanteism is discouraged in our society, however, I do the next best thing: I clean up after them.

I doubt anyone on this train would think of me as an artist or a hero. All they see is a plain woman wearing ratty old t-shirts, paint-splattered overalls and combat boots, her hair tucked into a houndstooth newsboy cap. Little do they know that they owe me a big thank-you.

Personally, I love artists like Banksy and Shepard Fairey. I'm lucky enough to live in a city where Shepard Fairey's art is everywhere. Well, I guess not everywhere, but lots of places. I've also seen a Banksy in person when I was in Glasgow (I also think I saw another one in Killarney), but I didn't know it was a Banksy at the time. 

In other news, Felipe and I are officially starting Drivel & Wit Chicago! Our first meeting is November 8th, and I'm pretty excited about it. If you click the link above, you will find our brand new website. Check it out. 

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