Thursday, August 11, 2011

Horace and Geoff

Seen on the Purple Line to the Loop at about 5:30 p.m.

They looked perfectly ordinary as they waited for the train. Geoff held a mathematics worksheet up to his skinny, red-cheeked face and pretended to read. Horace, who was turned away from Geoff, rested his arms on the top of his bulging belly as he texted a pretty girl from work who was sure she was out of his league. If she had known exactly what league Horace was a part of, she might have felt differently. Horace and Geoff, dressed in their formal office attire, were not actually strangers who just happened to be commuting home on the same train. In reality, they were taking their latest assignment from CAPES very seriously. They needed to capture the insidious Solaris.

Chicago had been suffering from an excruciating heatwave; however, its beleaguered citizens did not know that the heatwave was caused by Solaris' ability to absorb and magnify the heat provided by the sun. The effects of his evil powers were obvious. Many people without air conditioning had already died. Geoff and Horace had been traveling around the city for days trying to find him. While staring at the math equations, Geoff, otherwise known as The Great Seer, was using his dual x-ray and thermal vision to find the blistering radiation that Solaris was hiding inside his body. Horace, The Human Drawer, had shifted his bones and organs into a compartment which held the only thing that could stop the villain: a special variety of Martian ice that The Mighty Rocket had excavated from deep beneath the planet's dusty surface.

The weather had been slightly less oppressive the past two days, and many of their CAPES colleagues were worried that Solaris had skipped town. But Horace and Geoff knew very well it could be a trick, so they continued to pursue him. They would not rest until justice had been served.

Oh my goodness I am so tired. So so tired. Got up at 5:45 this morning so my dad could drive me back to the city since he had to come downtown as well. All I want to do is sleep. But you gotta love CAPES, let's be honest. Always fun to write about them, no matter how sleepy you are. And soon my dear friend Felipe will be coming over for dinner! Huzzah! Hope you all have a lovely evening.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


Seen on the Metra train to Antioch at about 5 p.m.

When the train finally started moving away from Union Station, Henry stopped fidgeting with his broad-brimmed hat and exhaled with relief. He took comfort in every screech and rumble the wheels made against the old tracks, for they were bringing him and his prize steadily closer to O'Hare, and consequently to escape.

His relationship with the skull had started on a dig ten years earlier, when he carefully chiseled it from the ground and brushed off the dirt of Utah's past. Henry held it in one hand and rubbed his left index finger around the hollow eye sockets, down the protruding nose and over the few sharp little teeth that were still intact inside the brittle jaw. He felt bad for the baby dinosaur; its life had barely begun. It had never had the chance to stalk prey, to rip flesh and muscle from bone, to assert its terrifying dominance over other creatures. And now it would simply become a museum piece, something to be studied and stared at by mere humans.

He brought it back to the Field Museum and kept special watch over the infant. It was cleaned and given a false life in an exhibit next to a much larger "parent" skeleton. Over the years groups of young children poked at the glass in front of it; groups of teenagers ignored it while whispering together during their teachers' lectures. Eventually the museum found a similar specimen that had less pieces missing, so they put that one on display instead. Henry himself packed it away in storage, but he would still check on it from time to time.

Earlier that morning, when Henry was fired like so many others due to the nation's economic problems, he knew what he had to do. He slipped downstairs, rescued his tiny friend, and used his iPhone to buy a plane ticket to Italy. He knew that he would eventually be caught, but that didn't matter. Henry felt that, after being buried in the earth and then trapped in a museum for so many years, the little guy deserved to bask in the sun and see some wonders.

I'm in the burbs tonight for my mom's birthday. Exciting stuff! Unfortunately, I have to get up freakishly early to go back to the city. Lamesauce. In other news, I added another webcomic that you should read to the side of this page called Wighthouse.  My friend Shannon writes it, and it is lovely. Check it out. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Lorraine; Paige

Lorraine: Seen on the Purple Line to the Loop at about 5:15 p.m., August 8th, 2011

She cannot believe she has been reduced to this. Of all things, Lorraine never thought she'd be forced to take public transportation. The idea of her delicate dress rubbing against the germy, worn chair disturbs her. She almost chews on her manicured nails, but she stops herself and plays with her earrings instead.

He was supposed to meet her at the Northwestern Campus. They were supposed to have a nice lunch and tour the stately buildings. Lorraine waited five minutes, then ten, then twenty, her lips pressing together more firmly and her tiny frame becoming more rigid all the while. And what was her son's excuse when she finally called? "Oh, I forgot."

Does he think she is stupid? She could smell the sweat on his clothes and hear the nauseous hangover in his voice. Once again he had been partying with his useless friends, having "band rehearsal." After all she had done for him, he never failed to disgust and disappoint her. And now she has to trek all the way to Pilsen--God knows where that is--to drag him back home and try to straighten out his life yet again.

Lorraine's rage is interrupted by the train's arrival at Howard. She consciously unfurrows her brow and stops clenching her teeth. She tries to look refined. Her mother always said she shouldn't make ugly faces or they'd stick that way. Well, this is the last humiliation she would suffer. If he refuses her help this time, she will simply let him ruin his life. He will no longer be her problem.

Paige: Seen on the Purple Line to the Loop at about 6 p.m., August 9th, 2011

As the train passed the Addison station, the wheels spun roughly over the tracks and made a low, raspy noise that seemed more human than mechanical. Paige's stomach dropped and her heart trembled, for it sounded like her mother's dying cry. She pulled out her headphones and jammed them into her ears, praying the music would drown out the memory.

Sunday, August 7, 2011


Seen on the Belmont Bus at about 8:15 p.m., July 18th, 2011

Elijah stares out the window of the bus and thinks about what he always thinks about: how to make himself more like Bob Dylan. He knows he can never be all that Dylan is--poet, prophet, god-of-folk--but he can try. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?

He's already got the look--tight black pants, purple and dark green paisley button-down shirt, dark shades, tangled light-brown hair. He has to lose weight. He knows that. He needs to look starved, as if he doesn't eat food but survives on verse alone. He'll get there.

Elijah knows he needs to be better. Jessica left him after one-too-many serenades of "Lay Lady Lay" and "Just Like a Woman." Dylan may be enough for him, but Jessica wanted something original, something that came straight from Elijah, and he had nothing to offer. He had recently started writing his own music. In the style of Dylan, of course. That was a given. Hopefully it'd be enough for the next girl. But if not, you know, he'd just keep on going. It'd be alright.

Oh my goodness how busy I have been! Thank you for putting up with my lack of posts. It has mostly been due to moving. I have an apartment with natural light now! How exciting!  I also just had my first solo gogo dancing performance in the Beast Women 2011 Summer Series. It was awesome.  Beast Women is a fantastic group that supports women in the arts. You should check them out. I have my own facebook page for my gogo dancing alter-ego Blondie Saint-Shimmy now. You should also check that out. And with that I bid you goodnight.