Monday, May 16, 2011

Chad

Sorry for the obscenely long break! I had a mild life crisis, but it's all good now. Anyway, here's a story I wrote few days ago...


Seen waiting for the Red Line to Howard at the Fullerton Station, April 12th, 2011.


Chad is having an identity crisis. When he picked his disguise, he thought it was funny. He was the Crusher, the strongest man on earth (or at least in the greater Chicagoland area). When in his full superhero regalia, he stood tall and muscly in his spandex suit, his brown hair slicked back, a confident smile above his chiseled jaw. What better disguise than a measly, bike-riding, environment-loving, PBR-drinking, jort-wearing, music-snob hipster?

He looks down at his outfit: pale green slacks, blue-and-white plaid shirt, canvas shoes, bowling bag used as a briefcase. Chad is starting to feel that this is his real self. He's getting really into the scene. He has started a relatively successful tumblr in which he displays quotes from notoriously evil people that sound really good and kind out of context. And sometimes, mostly with regard to his online presence, he spells his name "Tchad," the French way of spelling the African country. His record collection is blossoming. The other day he picked up Belle and Sebastian's "The Boy with the Arab Strap" for a great price. Their earlier stuff is so much better.

Chad finds himself frequently mocking, even hating his superhero alter-ego. The Crusher is just some dumb bro who doesn't even think about anything he's doing. He's into all that "Truth, Justice, and the American Way" bullshit. Sure, he saves a ton of people from tragic deaths. But he doesn't really see any of the larger problems in the world, you know? Starvation and political turmoil or whatever. Besides, Chad's commitment to CAPES is kind of cramping his style. They're supposed to go to this big superhero conference the same weekend as Pitchfork Music Festival. He can't miss Fleet Foxes! Is it possible to reject his powers and choose his own life?

Woo hoo! Brought back CAPES. Anyway, must run. Swing dancing tonight...

3 comments:

  1. I LOVE the CAPES stories. Superheroes are always excellent.

    In a strange coincidence, today I decided to start re-reading Watchmen for the first time.

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  2. Hahaha I love this.

    But I mean, I think I'd pick Fleet Foxes...

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  3. Poor Tchad! This is pretty great.

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