I haven't written since Friday, and since then I've encountered two sets of particularly interesting people. So now I present to you their imaginary stories, in VERY short form.
Mary: Seen Saturday, April 2nd at about 11:15 a.m. in Lincoln Park.
I ring the doorbell, but nobody answers. It doesn't matter; Satan can't defeat us that easily. As someone who is in the truth, it is my obligation to make sure that everyone learns of the necessity of God's kingdom on earth. I ring the doorbell again. Still no answer.
"Why don't we just move on?" Sandra suggests.
I quickly retort: "Ladies, we must do everything we can to free this person from Satan's grasp. We will wake them up if we have to." And with that, I ring the doorbell a third time. Finally we hear some shuffling from inside. The lock turns and the door opens a crack, revealing a young woman with tousled blonde hair in her pajamas. I smile.
"Good morning! I just wanted to personally invite you to an event where you can learn about Jesus Christ and how he died for our sins." I hand her a pamphlet.
"Uh, thank-you." She replies, obviously still sleepy. Before she shuts the door, she tells us to have a good day. I am glad that she was kind to us. I believe that there is hope for her soul yet.
Adam & the Chicago Racket Football Society: Seen Sunday, April 3rd at about 1:30 p.m. at the park on the corner of Sheffield & Wrightwood.
Hey, man! It's nice to meet you. Welcome to the Chicago Racket Football Society's first meeting of the season! I'm Adam; I'm the captain. Me and some of my fraternity brothers invented Racket Football our sophomore year at U of I. It was this crazy party. There were, like, five kegs...well, I'm sure you get the idea.
Anyway, we're always stoked to have new members. I'm glad Bob brought you along. Has he explained the rules to you? Well, I should probably go over them again, just in case. I mean, basically it works just like regular football. The major difference is the rackets, of course. We all sling tennis rackets across our bodies while we play. Like a purse, I guess. Then there's this extra person on each team called the racketmaster. The racketmasters always wear whistles around their necks. At any point during the game, the racketmasters can blow their whistles, and when they do you have to stop touching the football with your hands. The game has to be played only with rackets until the offensive team loses the ball. Then you can use your hands again.
I know it's weird or whatever, but it's fun when you get used to it. I think it's catching on, too. My friend Dan moved up to Wisconsin and started a team there. It's totally sweet, I swear. So let's get started. What position do you normally play?
And those are my little stories for the day. To clarify, I was indeed woken up by Jehovah's Witnesses ringing my doorbell three times Saturday morning. And today I did see these guys in the park playing football while they had tennis rackets slung over their shoulders, which I thought was a little weird. I feel you should also know that when I mentioned to him that I was going to try to write another entry tonight, my friend Felipe blurted out that I should write a sex scene. So now we all know that despite how nice and polite he seems, his mind's really just in the gutter. Just kidding. Felipe's the best.