Seen on the Purple Line to the Loop at about 5:11 p.m.
Eric looked like Norman Bates, which was a problem. To everyone who brought this up (and more people brought it up than you might think), Eric pointed out that his face didn't really look much like Bates' at all. Which was true. But he was tall, softspoken, and awkward. Furthermore, he always dressed neatly in button-down shirts and ironed, high-waisted jeans. The comparison could rightly be made.
Naturally, Eric was furious about this. It's hard to make your way in the world when you look like a mother-stuffing, peeping-tom serial killer. No matter how polite and helpful he was, people never seemed to trust Eric. He felt that Norman Bates had given clean-cut guys a bad name. Sometimes he imagined slaughtering Norman Bates in a shower. That'd show him.
Wrote this on the way home from work. I actually wrote one this morning on the way to work, but I didn't like it. My apologies to "Cindy," who would have been today's story. It's not that you weren't interesting, it's just that I couldn't convey your greatness in an interesting way.
In other news, if you are a Chicagoan hooked on twitter (like me), I hope you noticed the #fatlolla hashtag going on today. Turning band names into foods really made the announcement of the 2011 Lollapalooza lineup much more fun.